A year ago today

I was 40 weeks pregnant.  At 39 and 6 days I had not one indication we would be so blessed to see our little man.  I also didnt know my kindness and generosity would end up in being so frustrated with new and training doctors.

Sadly my dr, who is the best dr in the whole wide world, was out of the state for half a day and our baby boy decided it was time to come out.  Good thing though,  we didn't just get one dr...or two...we got three, two of which were still learning and one who was so new, our nurse didnt know her name. 

We start walking because of course my very consistent contractions decided to slow down. While walking we were told to stop at our room because our drs wanted to do a ultrasound.   Since Bryson was flipping each week we had to make sure he was head down.  This should have been out first indication they were not exactly fully trained, the dr had to point out which end of the sonogram machine to use.  Yay for Bryson being head down!

Next stop meds to get these contractions going again. Before they end up giving me an epidural a bit after this they need to check me, the nurse does and im a 4.5 but they want the new girl to give it a shot.  So she does.  She places her fingers just slightly into me...like maybe 3/4 of her fingers.  She says im about a 7. Now anyone that has had a kid knows you need to be damn near elbow deep to get checked. The nurse says she was probably in the wrong area and asked if she would like to try again ( um hello....no thanks!) She passed. Thank god. Fail #2. Mom brings Miah up to visit because im only a 4.5 and I assumed it would be a while. Wrong.  About an hour later im feeling a bit of pressure and the nurse says im ready to push as soon as they break my water...but "they want the girl to try."  Ugh.  Sure why not!?  

The nurse tells her she had to try to NOT break my water with her finger so she should have no problem.  Just kidding....she cant.  She asks for the "stick" :l great....shes gonna poke a hole in my kids head!! Fail #3.

Miah goes into the waiting room with Andrew and Daniel. Mom, Candy and Jeremiah are some great labor partners :)

Time to start pushing, head is half way out and guess who isnt ready?!  You guessed it...the newbies.  The more experienced one asks if I can "just wait a minute"   suurrreee.  Let me just hang out here, with my child's head half way out of my body...grab me a drink while I wait for you to get ready!  "A minute is all you have" was the nicest thing I couldn't spit out.  Fail #4. 

The new girl is in charge of catching our baby on the rest of his way out.  Hopefully she can catch.  Yay!  She can!!

Our baby boy with a full head of hair is placed on my chest and once again its been proven there is such thing as love at first sight!  The amount I had already loved him instantly grew times a thousand. Jeremiah swore he wasnt going to watch another birth,  he was obviously wrong as he excitedly gave me updates on how far out he has been :)

Jeremiah cuts his cord and Candy gets hit with a spirt of cord blood....ew. Good thing she loves me.

Time for a few stitches. I am pleased to hear the guy will be doing it....until the actual dr starts correcting his technique. The look on Candy's face will never leave my mind.  "No you should do it like this..."  "Naw this is how I usually do it"

I can feel that.
Dr- "you should numb the area more"
"No, I did"
That hurts!
After this for a few minutes he decided to numb the area again.
Fail #5

Wonderful, not that my poor lady parts hadn't gone through enough,  there probably just got even more f**ed up.

Kamiah gets to come meet her brother.  She is proud to be a big sister and excited the baby came with a big sister gift for her ;)

Time to pick a name!!  Bryson John it is. John after Jeremiahs grandpa.
Kamiah cried.  She was so set on "Baby Brother"

A few of our favorite people came to visit and it was time to try and rest.  Although the complete bliss i was in was making that hard.

Finally our last day we get to see Dr Gordon!!  He asked if someone he had trained could do the circumcision (he had done many).

No.

Lol....I have done my duties and am forver done volunteering!

Our little man is perfect. Time to take him home!!

6wks later I still wasnt healed thanks to "a terrible stitch job" in my drs words which confirmed my decision ill not be volunteering again.

And now...a year later I miss it.  I miss being pregnant and giving birth. Such an amazing time and im so blessed to have been able to do it twice!

Now.  Off to bed.  Night world!

Quick enough to catch....a mommy must.

Nope.  Not a ball.
Puke....lots of puke.

Before anyone is a parent the thought of watching someone else puke is disturbing...let alone catching it.

Kamiah has been telling us lately she doesn't feel good to get out of things, finishing her dinner... cleaning her toys up... sleeping in her bed.  So today when she said she didnt feel good I kind of blew it off.   Until I was catching her vomit in my hands and had it running down my leg.

That was 8 hours ago.  Just now im in a bath getting the pizza & goldfish puke off of me.

I did mention I was gonna hop in the bath.  And then I get, really....your taking a bath?

Ok...ill get out.  "No, no thats not what I ment...."

Actually it was.  But you're being nice.  I will make it quick though.

I could sit in here forever.  Grab a drink and keep reheating.

Yep...that lasted 5 minutes.  Oh well...now to a bed made for two with 4.  I always said I wouldnt be that mom....the one with all kinds of kids in bed with her.  Well I am.  I love their snuggles.  But I will also enjoy the night they are in their own bed.  Just not quite there with Bryson and I feel like its not fair to Miah of he gets to and she cant.

Last night I slept great, for the first 3 hours.... (thats a lot)  Jeremiah took the kids in their room and had a slumber party.  He is the best.  When Bryson woke up my half asleep body just got up and grabbed him.  Jeremiah told me he had a bottle and I could go back to sleep, but he had to work in the morning so I decided to let him sleep.  He really is great though.

All day Bryson sensed Miah was getting more cuddles than usual....this resulted in him climbing all over me.  It was wonderful.

Well, Miah wants some toast....which means ill most likly be waking up to terrible smelling toast be tossed up tonight.  Crossing my fingers im wrong.

Night <3

Giving to give.

This week has been crap.  Poor Bryson had tubes yesterday and has been a hurting unit.  Kamiah wants extra attention because Bryson is getting extra attention.  My mom thought she had a heart attack so was over night in the hospital.  I obviously called into work when my mom was in the hospital and then had to find someone to take my shift today because Bryson still needed me.  I was overwhelmed because I had a plan that fell through on the other end.  Then the realtor selling our house says she wants to show it today......ahhh!   I dont have time to clean it.  But I do.  And then I think of how thankful i am that someone who already worked a full time job today picked up my shift at work.  I dropped her off a gift card for Starbucks.  Not because I needed to.  But I wanted her to know I really did appreciate what she did. 

Sometimes people surprise you. And its nice to do that for other people.  Its a great feeling.

Jeremiah got home today and we went and looked at a house in town to rent.  Total fail.  Looked great.   But the renter felt for us and gave us all the details the owner would have left out.

This is Karma.  I did something nice for someone who did something nice for me.  And then a stranger did something nice for me when she didnt have to.

This is why I give. Just to give. 

On another note....Bryson is almost one.  I am REALLY sad to almost be done nursing.  I love the bond.  But I dont want to be that weird mom nursing a toddler.  Its time to be done, but im really sad.  What if he is my last one.   What if I never get to nurse a baby to sleep again.  Its probably weird I think like that.  But I really do love the bond it creates.

My lil princess and lil prince are out.  Which means time to send some work emails, and go to bed!  Night world! <3

Ohhh. Just one of those days....

You know the one....where everything irritates you. 

Today was that day.

Let me start by saying there were tons of great things that happened today.  Got to spend time with family from out of state, go into work and help out for a bit, and come back to kids that couldn't wait to see me
But.

I just cant help by be annoyed by so many different things today. 

I know why I am too....its because im just too nice.  Honestly.  Sometimes I wish I could just care less.  I am always trying to plan things with friends and family.  I think its important to do things with people you care about.  Unfortunately its usually something that doesnt happen.  I get it,  I too have to turn down plans because mom life gets nuts....but that's not often the case.  Sometimes I wonder why people don't give more into relationships.   Maybe because they are strong enough they feel its not necessary?   Who knows.  I dont usually care to long about not having a life outside of my kids because they create a world so rich and full of life that I dont need anything else.  But then I get a bit sad, seeing friends/family do different things with other friends/family and I sometimes wonder....why couldnt we do those things?  Oh well. 

Damnit.  Im seriously laying in bed at my moms house writing this and got bit by a stupid mosquito. Wth?!

So back to my annoyed day.  Jeremiah is great.  Seriously 99% of the time just amazing.  But there is this guy thing....no im not calling out all guys...just most.  And after a long day...or just whenever...if there is a group of people and a case of beer it usually trumps anything else....for example people you live with that would like to see you....or a mommy that would like a 15 minute bath?!  I mean I did get a "break" today working....but it was still work.

Annnnd I have to work sat.  And of course any regular babysitter I have is not available and Jeremiah works.  So I am still searching.  This pisses Jeremiah off.  He hates this small part time job I have because he doesn't see it worth "our" time,  but I LOVE it.  No...not because it is the best job ever...but because I get to get out for a few hours and share time with people who dont want to suck the life out of me (sometimes literally).

Well considering Bryson has been sleeping for an hour I should try.  Although the drinking banter I hear outside this window is gonna stop.....or this will be one unhappy mama.

Oh wait! 

I totally tried to pick up an old man today on my way home!!  He was having the hardest time walking with his cub bag in tow and he turned my offer down ;(.

I tried!

Now really...night <3