I remember when...

I seriously can remember hearing this 84952957362940264054 times when I was little.  My sister and I would just roll our eyes.  And now...I say it daily.

I have this Timehop app.  It pulls everything I did exactly a year ago, two years ago...ect.  Lately I have been getting pics of a sweet toddler with a baby face and a giant belly.   Soon ill be seeing pics of a newborn....can he seriously already be one?!

I see posts from before we had kids.  It just doesn't seem real, that such a short time ago my world I know now, didn't exist.  I didnt breath each breath thinking about these two beautiful creations that share my DNA.  Jeremiah and I lived a fun, carefree life.  We went to sleep and most nights were close enough to snuggle, his arm around me. Now....well I honestly dont remember the last night there wasn't a baby, toddler, or giant belly between us.

I try SO hard to soak it up.  Remember everything.  Smell them.  Sunggle them.  Tell them I love them hourly.  Let them play and be little.  I spoil them. 

I have this terrible "what if" mind set....not living in fear but living each moment to the most, living it so if something absoulty terrible happened to one of our kids I wouldn't have regrets.  I know it might sound silly to some, but if I didnt play that game with Kamiah or if I had let Bryson cry for an hour before he fell asleep in his crib, and the next day I woke up to find something terrible had happened I couldn't live with the what if.

Going back to, I remember when....  Im sometimes sad.  I already dont remember as vividly as I wish I could.  The sweet things Kamiah said in her early advanced days of talking.  The nights I held Bryson as a newborn that seemed to go way faster then they should have.  I almost get why people keep having kids....these moments are amazing.  I live for them.  Each day I am consumed with so much happiness for the family I have been blessed with I can't sleep thinking about it. 

In time Kamiah will become annoyed with us telling her, I remember when...but for now ill stay content with her telling me...I remember when you were a baby, mom....haha. 

I wont make the mistake of not thinking these days will go by fast.  I will make the most of each day with this amazing family god has blessed us with.  I will be that crazy mom who is always obsessed with her kids, not because I want everyone to think im some fantastic mom but because they are worth it, they deserve it <3

Now to fall asleep before my teething monster wakes back up :)