An amazing time of year! Minus having the Flu.

This time of year always brings back so many memories.  And im thankful to have an amazing family to make new ones.

Trying our best to remind out kids thats its the season if giving.  And at 3 thats a hard thing to understand.  But I think Kamiah has a good understanding.

Weeks ago I nominated my mom for a free cut and color a local salon was giving away.  With her always giving and never putting money into helself I thought it would be perfect, and she won!!!  For the lady who wears her shoes until they have holes and whos closet consists of shirts that were old boyfriends she deserves it.

One thing im thankful for is how she (and my dad )  raised us to be.  We were fortunate kids.  We had toys and clothes.  We were occasionally spoiled.  But times were also tough growing up.  My mom was the mom waiting in line for toys for tots and the giving tree to be sure we had gifts some years....to let us keep the belief that there was a Santa.   One year I remmeber we had a shop with a cop day.  We got to get something for us and for mom.  And one year a bonus mom planned on didn't come.  Katrina and I were lucky enough to have gone to FL that year to celebrate with my grandparents and dad.  We were each given 150.  We each decided to spend 100 on each brother.   Idk many kids who would give up that kind of money to give to someone else,  but we were proud to do so!  And that memory sticks in my mind always.  I knew we were raised right.  I hope I can instill the same act of giving in our kids.

Last night we had our last Christmas.  It was a full week of the kids being way off schedule and boy did we pay for it.  An entire night of meltdowns.  I got so crazy angry at Kamiah for being so naughty.  She was hitting and kicking.  Screaming about everything she could think of...including how she didnt like my face. Lol

I held her arms and legs so she couldnt moved and she cried I just want you to hug and kiss me.  And that was it.  I grabbed her and snuggled her until she fell asleep.  Sometimes its easy to forget how hard a little life gets and its even easier to yell and scream in your own frustration.   But try and remember.  Leaving them cry and hurt might not solve as much as a good cuddle.

Be thankful for what you have and spread joy to those you can.  One day it may all be gone and you will have wished you stood back and done something different.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!

Greatful for wanting

The other day driving with both kids asleep in the car I thought to myself, I wish I had a newer car.  Which led me to think, a newer house would be great too.

Then I seen a man walking his bike up then hill with a small backpack.   He was clearly not biking because he wanted to enjoy the beautiful day.  It was like 10 degrees.

I started to think about all of the silly things I had wished I had in the last month....
A baby that slept in just a tad sometimes
A nicer car
A newer house
A bigger budget while shopping for food and gifts.

Then it hit me. I decided I had no need to long for things that werent necessary because I am already belssed with things many people dont have.

We have a car, two actually.   They take us where we need to go.  They keep our kids warm and they are reliable.

We have a home.  Its nice and cozy, and also keeps our family warm. Its nothing fablous, but knowing some people sleep under a concrete bridge makes it pretty fablous.

I have my baby to wake me in the morning.  I know too many that have lost little ones to know to never take for granted that baby that needs you.  That toddler that asks too many questions.  Those things that drive you nuts, are the things I know some miss the most.

We have a budget to buy food.  And are lucky enough to buy gifts, although they are nothing extravagant they are gifts.  And we cant wait to give them.  Im thankful we are able to feed our family like so many others cant.

This season im just reminded to be thankful. 

Kamiah was writing her sant list.  She started to write mine.  I had nothing to put on it.  I am happy.  As long as my family is, thats about all I can ask for. 

I seen on a group people (adults included) were making gift lists and giving them to people they know.  Its too bad thats what Christmas has become for so many.

If you have a little extra this season think about giving to someone else and doing something less for yourself.   It will make you feel good and so a great lesson to this generation.

The hard stuff....

While posting this im enjoying a wonderful mikes hard lemonade in a nice warm bath.

Today I picked up some things for a friends daughters birthday party.  Of course Kamiah wants the frozen chap stick set.  Its hard explaining to a 3 year old that she can't have this really cool item that's currently at her house.  There is a part SO big in me that wants to say ok...you can have it.  But because she needs to learn lessons in life I have to stick my grounds, im honestly probably as bummed as her.  BUT Santa WILL be getting it for her stocking ;)

The other day I read this blog about how this wife was so thankful for her husband who was understanding through her being pregnant and nursing and then being pregnant and nursing again.....and I thought GOD! Im not alone.  I mean I feel terrible all the time that my sex drive is like non existent right now, but sometimes I feel even more terrible because Jeremiah is still so amazing about it.  I sent him the blog - I totally didn't think he would actually read it and for a day assumed he didn't.  Oh well :)  Then one night he says, "So you really think im that guy?" Yes. I do.  You are. :)  And soon.  Oh so soon Bryson will be done.  But im not pushing it as hard as I could because he is most likely my last baby....and I want to soak it all up.

I laughed at myself a little bit today.  I got off work and HAD to use the bathroom. Im been holding it forever. So im at the grocery store and the bathroom is in this area thats quiet.  And not popular like a Wal-Mart bathroom would be. So after I went, I sat there.  Hahaha. I checked my FB...creeped a little and then idk, maybe 5 minutes later someone came in and I realized I was still at the grocery store....in the restroom.  Haha, the joys of soaking up the quiet!

This last week at work I have laughed so hard at the dumbest things. I love this part time job!!! Never a dull moment! Yesterday a WONDERFUL customer returned these super adorable moccasins.   They are 3 sizes too big for Kamiah but too small for her daughter....so after a small heart to heart she convinced me I HAD to buy them.  They are in my pile of to buy items at work ;) 

This morning Kamiah dressed herself (pretty normal) and then proceeded to turn the shower on for herself and "take a quick shower"  Kamiah.  You're 3....and a half.  Please slow down!!! 

Listening to Jeremiah give Kamiah a cheer up talk and play Godzilla with blocks in the other room gives me the biggest smile on my face.  Seriously,  if god really has plans for people he was definitely mine!!

Well.  Enough of the crazy randomness for tonight :)  Off to finish my mikes and my bath and then to play with my family <3 <3

Mommy, you're driving me crazy!

So, in the car today Kamiah tells me she is my roommate.  She has been on this kick for a few weeks now.  I told her she wasnt. That she was my daughter. And a roommate is usually someone who pays rent.  Like Mimis friend Gilbert.  She said well, Bryson is my roommate.   Well. Kind of, but not really because you guys are both our kids. 

She starts telling me she just wishes she was a mommy. And a big person.

"Kamiah, be 3. Its wonderful. You get to sleep in, wear silly things,  snuggle with mommy and daddy, dont have to pay for anything, you get to lean an amazing amount of things and you dont have to worry about anything.  Be little as long as you can.  Because someday you will have to be a big person and then you cant go back."

"MOM. I just want to be a mom!"

"Sweetie. I love being a mom. Its my favorite job ever. But its a lot of work!  You have to always make sure someone is happy, healthy, safe....you have to pay bills and worry about things.  You can go back to being little once your a mom...

"Uhh.  Your giving me a headache."

Obviously my advice ended there.

Bryson is still nursing.  And today the little shit bit me because he wasnt getting milk fast enough.  Well he seen quick that biting means NO milk!!!

Then I posted on a mommy chat board on tip for weaning.  Some brilliant mom says to star feeding him table food and give him a paci.  Ummm. Yeah.  He has been eating table food for a solid 10 months and no...im not moving from one habit to the next.   So ill stick to going for no advice and trying to wean him myself.   Why he can't do it easily like Kamiah, ill never know.

Jeremiah is sure his sleeping, or lack there of is because im nursing. But im convinced its an actual sleeping problem.  Kid wakes up between 10-15 times a night!   Yeah, no dreaming for me these days.  One day ill sleep again. One day :)

Well. I currently have an infant who has not yet discovered im in the bath, so im going to soak it up while I can.   Hopefully I wake up tomorrow a d magically dont have the flu anymore!!!!

Wishful thinking ;)

A mommy day.

Well last night I left my part time job to take Bryson to the ER. On top of having a terrible cold and an ear infection, now his ear is leaking blood.  Wonderful.  11pm and we are out to get drops for a blown ear drum. Go back to mimis house and Bryson is somehow wired. 130am and we finally get to sleep. Until the 509 times he decides to wake up to nurse- yes he is still on the boob. 

Day comes and he is napping. I forgot about dance. Wonderful. Wake him up to go to dance for Miah,  he throws up. Ahhhh.  Yes I wanna go sit with dance moms smelling like toddler vomit.

Get home and try to fed the kids. Miah is having a hard time listening. Everything  is the end of the world, obviously the cure is for her to try and barter her good behavior for what she wants.  Not happening. 

Bath time. Kamiah is trying to goce bryson pretend medicine and he ends up under water. My heart stoped as I yanked him out.  Calm down and let him get back in and play.

Bath time if over.  Miah wants a snack. I tell her to finish her dinner. Nope she wants a cookie.  So the crying starts. For 15 minutes she is crying for a snack.  Bryson decided to come see me in what I hoped to be a quick quiet bath. Falls in trying to get a toy still in there.  So much for those jammies.   Them he is trying to climb over and nurse.  Seriously kid??!  Ahhh.  Kamiah is still throwing a fit for a damn cookie (that would still need to be baked).

Its only tuesday and Jeremiah is gone till fri.

Lord help me.

Xoxo- Super tired mommy.

Mommy, Bryson and Elsa.

Hmmm, so last night we stayed at my moms.  Had a bonfire and hung out.  Now I knew Jeremiah respected me, but last night I learned it to a whole new level.  He never ceases to amaze me.

This morning Kamiah wakes up and finds a dress to wear. Its a holiday dress.  Whatever. Not worth the fight.  Then she finds her Elsa dress, and decided this is what she will wear the rest of the day. 

We had to go to Wal-Mart because I needed baby bath and some things for our slumber party tonight.  Get to checkout and Bryson has had enough.  You'd think I had kidnapped him.  Man starts to ring our stuff and I realized I forgot baby bath!   Seriously?!
Miah is too little to watch her brother or run and grab it so I asked him to save my spot.  Let someone go ahead of me quick and I ran.  With a cart. And two kids.  Looked like a crazy person.  Got the baby soap.  As we are checking out the thunder cracks.  Ahh. Great.  Get to the doors and Miah says, "well I dont wanna get wet!"
Too bad, baby cakes.  I cant stop the rain.

We get to the car and im tossing Bryson in quick. She is sitting on the box of pampers (her Elsa thrown) hunched over.  "MOMMY! Im getting wet! I didn't wanna get wet!"  Grab her and get her in her carseat.  " man mommy, I didnt see that coming!"
Me either, miah
"Well, uhh. This was a new dress!"

Get home and both friends are unable to make the sleepover. Blah. Unhappy 3 yr old.  Shes heartbroken. But on the plus side she gets to ride a horse tomorrow!  Shes so stinking excited!

I need to start Christmas shopping.  One problem- I want to buy them EVERYTHING. And Jeremiah is convinced we don't have the space.... he is only sort of right.

Im trying really hard to get rid of stuff. I want them to get new cool things. And I dont want to get shot in the process.  Haha.

Well.  Im gonna finish this short mommy only bath, and  then watch the rest of the lorax.  Then for family time.  Honestly,  so blessed to call my family "mine," they rock.

"A broken family"

This last month something has come to me.  After remembering a conversation with my sister, over a year ago, it dawned on me.  I am thankful I came from what she calls," a broken family." 

I was of course always wishing my parents would get back together, until my dad told us he was gay, but thats another story.  Every kid wants their mom and day together and happy like they see in the movies, I did too.

But that would have set me up to believe in the cinematic fairy tale.  I would have lived it and believed thats how it was going to be. 

I seen many of my moms boyfriends come and go.  Not gonna lie, I never liked any of them so seeing them go never broke my heart. Haha.  And ive seen my dad search for love as well.  Both of them are still searching.

Then I thought, what if they had found the perfect person and let a small imperfection change their way. 

Growing up the way I did made me sure, NOBODY is perfect.  Yes, that includes you.  Sometimes im lazy.  Sometimes id rather go to sleep than have a quickie.  Sometimes I forget to put gas in or check the oil. 
Sometimes is just that, sometimes.  And Jeremiah has learned to deal with it. :)  Thanks for that babe. (He doesnt read this, lol)

If I had spent my whole life looking for what I longed for my parents as a kid, id be without Jeremiah and the two most wonderful kids on the planet.

Parents only want whats best for their kids.  Mine did it.  They didnt always agree it was right, and it wasn't always pretty, but we were always first.

Im thankful for that "broken family" because it gave me a dose of reality some people never get.  And it made me realize you have to find the perfect imperfect  person. 
There is always a silver lining, you just have to stop letting the negative in and it will show. <3
On a side note.
Kamiah's feet get hot when she sleeps.  Tonight the crazy 3 yr old whined because she wanted me to blow on them....uhh. no.   This is how she fell asleep.....